Not too hard...Not too easy (Part II)

In my last blog, I talked about ways to decrease challenge when a child feels overwhelmed or doesn't want to try something that is too hard.

Today I'm writing about what to do when a child is feeling UNDERchallenged. You'll know this may be happening if your child:

• Plays recklessly fast or sloppily, without any attention to musicality or beauty
• Complains about playing the song AGAIN or gripes that it's too easy
• Acts distracted or fidgety (note that these behaviors also could mean the opposite: too much challenge--see my Oct 14 blog)
• Goofs off or acts silly

If you think your child needs more challenge, try saying "Hmm... You're pretty good at this, I wonder if you are ready for a challenge! Let's see if you can..." then propose one of the following challenges:

• Play the phrase (or measure) with no missed notes and no missed fingerings (only 100% accuracy is acceptable)
• Play "Earn Your Age" Game (If child is 7 years old, prepare 7 pennies or pieces of small candy or cereal. Every time the child plays a measure or line correctly, s/he earns one penny. If s/he misses a note, a penny is taken away. When you earn as many pennies as your age, you win!)
• Play with no missed notes or fingerings 3 times in-a-row
• No missed notes or fingerings 5 times-in-a-row
• Play with your eyes closed, no missed notes
• Play with beautiful phrasing and attention to every expressive marking, such as dynamics and articulations
• Play while counting out loud
• Try the "Question Challenge"

The Question Challenge is only a good idea when a child knows a song VERY well, but needs to continue to review it (eg, for an upcoming performance). The idea is to invite the child to play the song and then while playing, the parent asks the child very easy questions (What is your name? How many legs do you have? What color is the sky? What is 2 + 2?). The child should answer these questions while continuing to play the song. Have fun with this!

In all of this, keep the atmosphere light-hearted and fun--like playing a game. The trick is to find a level of difficulty that feels enticingly challenging to the child, but not overwhelming. Kids like being challenged. They enjoy it. I have observed that they even enjoy making honest mistakes and will freely laugh at their own "goof ups", so long as they have an environment where it is safe to make mistakes. Please don't misunderstand me: I am not suggesting ignoring mistakes or lowering standards of accuracy. In most of the challenges there IS a consequence for making a mistake (eg, losing a penny), however, one of the consequences is NOT being criticized or scolded or made to feel inferior. Making mistakes is simply part of the learning process, and can actually be a fun part of the game if you allow it to be. I have been surprised by how many times a child will smile or laugh when they lose their first penny in the "Earn Your Age" game. They love that someone is giving them a fun challenge to meet!

Not too hard...Not too easy (Part I)

One of the most common problems during practice time is that (from the child's perspective) the level of challenge is either too high or too low. Let's say that on an assignment, your child is expected to learn a new song hands together. You may know that the child is truly capable of this, but if the child feels like the task is too difficult you might observe some of these behaviors:

• Distracted
• Fidgeting & Squirming
• Lacking focus
• Complaining
• Resisting

Rather than proding your child to give it a try, or even encouraging with "You can do it!", try adjusting the level of challenge to help your child feel like s/he can accomplish the task. Remember, more important than what your child can do is what your child thinks s/he can do. The trick is to make the challenge feel easy enough so that the child has the confidence and courage to tackle it. Here are a few ways to DECREASE the level of challenge if you suspect that your child feels a bit overwhelmed:

• Break things into "bite size" pieces. Children don't always know how to take a big, overwhelming task and break it into smaller, more manageable tasks. Sometimes for young children this might mean just tackling 2 notes hands together. For older children, maybe it will just be one or two measures. Mastering those two notes or two measures might be all you do that day. Enjoy the success!
• Slow it down. Slowing down can be hard for some fast-paced children who like to rush through things, but it is a great way to decrease challenge. For older children, assigning a very slow metronome speed to stick with can help.
• "Zero in" on the problem spot. If the challenge is fixing one wrong note or one wrong chord, begin by playing only the one note (or chord) using the correct finger, then stop. Next try adding just one note before, and see if you can play those two notes 3 times perfect. Now add one more note before, and again try to get 3 times perfect. Continue in this way to add more notes until you have the problem solved.
• Simplify. Rather than working on notes and rhythms and dynamics and phrasing and articulations all at once, choose just one musical element at a time to focus on. If rhythm is the problem, stop playing all together, and just clap the rhythm while counting out loud. Once you can do that, try playing any single note on the piano (C, C, C, C, etc.) in rhythm while counting out loud. Finally, play the actual notes while counting and see if the rhythm is solved.

The whole point of decreasing challenge is to boost confidence that a child can succeed at the task at hand. So, be sure to celebrate successes and know when it is time to quit. It is even OK to spend more than one day on the exact same notes/issues, if that is what is necessary for a child to feel confident.

The other side of the coin is when things are too easy for a child, and they need MORE challenge. To learn more about this, be sure to check out my blog next week: Not too hard...Not too easy, Part II!

Happy practicing!

Creating a Musical Culture at Home

Children will naturally grow to value the things that are truly valued in the home. When I was a child, my dad was a big fan of the San Francisco Giants. He followed them faithfully in the paper and on TV, and so when I started showing an interest in baseball, we would talk about the Giants, go to games together, and naturally I became an avid Giants fan—even though we lived in Dallas, home of the Texas Rangers! My father’s genuine and sincere interest in the S.F. Giants was simply contagious to me. Part of our “family culture” was cheering on the Giants.

Likewise, we can establish a life-long love of music in our children if we create a musical culture in the home. This begins with developing your own genuine interest in good music. Culture and values can never be imposed—they can only be shared. Even if you don’t play an instrument, you can develop and demonstrate your love of good music by listening to it, singing along with it, dancing to it, learning about it, and talking about it. Certainly, not everything you play in the home has to be “classical” music—it’s wonderful to enjoy high-quality music of many styles. If you play an instrument, don’t let it sit in your closet gathering dust. Turn off the TV or computer during your free-time, pull out your instrument and have some fun learning to play a new song. Or revive an old song you used to enjoy playing. When children see you enjoying music, they too will be drawn to it and will inevitably develop a life-long love of music, as well as a stronger motivation to practice their instrument so they can have as much fun as mom and dad!

End on a Positive Note

Thanks for reading my first blog! Three cheers!!!

The topic for today is End on a Positive Note. The key is knowing your child well enough to end your practice session slightly BEFORE your child is ready to stop—while your child is still enjoying herself. This leaves a positive feeling in your child’s mind and makes the child more eager and willing the next day to practice.

Often, as a parent or teacher, we have a hard time letting go of wanting to cram as much work as possible in one practice session. You think to yourself, “I’ve worked this hard to get her here on the bench, now I’m never letting her go!” [Insert maniacal evil laughter here.] You know well the signs that a child is nearing the end of his ability to concentrate: legs start to swing agitatedly, body turning to liquid on the bench, thinking or talking about anything except the piano. Yet, heroically, despite all odds, you push on—“we’ve just got to finish everything on the practice assignment!”

Accept that your child has a limit to her concentration, and work within those limits—even if it means not finishing everything on the practice assignment. You can get to it next time. End your practice session BEFORE the child wants to and you will find that, over time, the child’s desire to practice will grow. His ability to concentrate for longer periods of time will grow, too. It is possible to have a fun, positive ending to your practice sessions! Try it, and let me know how it goes!